It's Royal Rumble time, which means it's the very best bit of the WWE calendar: Pointing at the WrestleMania Sign Season!
In the lead-up to this year's Rumble we've had Vince McMahon out and Triple H taking creative control before the apparent return of Mr McMahon, though it's not clear he's involved at all with what's happening in the ring and on screen.
Related: Is wrestling real or fake? All your WWE questions answere
But when that counter starts running down from 10 to zero, all that stuff flies right out of our heads and all the only thing we're thinking about is which wrestler is going to come down that ramp and kick up a storm.
On the morning of the Rumble only 19 out of the 30 Men had declared, and 12 out of 30 of the Women (that's less than half!).
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So there's plenty of scope for thrills and spills before anyone even steps into the ring for those Rumble matches, not to mention the excitement of Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens for the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship, Bianca Belair defending her WWE Raw Women's Championship against Alexa Bliss, and the small matter of Bray Wyatt's in-ring re-debut against LA Knight.
Read on for all the action from Royal Rumble 2023, coming at you from the Alamodome in San Antonio, Texas.
You can watch the one-hour kick-off show in full and for free with us right here before checking out our blow-by-blow account, all the video highlights and our snap review on all the action.
Kick-Off Show
Jerry 'The King' Lawler, Booker T, Kevin Patrick and Peter Rosenberg are the stars joining Kayla Braxton on our pre-show panel
Booker T says he's "still waiting on a text message"... so his presence behind the desk doesn't count him out of the Men's Rumble Match, just yet.
Rosenberg tips Rhea Ripley for the Women's Rumble, Booker says it's "the time for Rhea Ripley's breakout moment", Patrick opts for local girl Raquel Rodriguez. Who have you got?
There's a short clip of Roman Reigns on Friday night's The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, but you can watch the whole thing here if you missed it.
Also on the kick-off: stunning teaser vids, with the promos for Bray Wyatt/LA Knight "Pitch Black" match and Seth 'Freakin'' Rollins are the standouts.
No-one does teaser vids as well as the WWE. Let's hope the matches can deliver.
For the Men's Rumble, Peter and Booker are going for "destiny" and Cody Rhodes, while Kevin and Jerry are going for Brock Lesnar.
Match 1: Men's Royal Rumble Match
Pat McAfee is our first Royal Rumble surprise! Joining the announce table much to the shock of Michael Cole and chagrin of Corey Graves.
Gunther is in at number one for his first Royal Rumble appearance, and he won't mind that one little bit. Joining him is Clash of the Castle MOTY dancing partner Sheamus.
They get straight into thwacking the hell out of each other, because of course they do! You can feel the blows from here, and Gunther nearly eliminates Sheamus over the tip. Sheamus hits back with a backbreaker and his own attempt.
Next in is: The Miz. He backs off from the apron as Sheamus makes eyes, Gubther takes advantage to get Sheamus over the top, Miz tries to take advantage without having yet entered the ring.
Sheamus goes to the outside (not over the top) to chase Miz down and get him inside and take some punishment from both men.
Guther and Miz have Sheamus nearly eliminated as Kofi Kingston joins the Rumble by flying in with a crossbody and then takes Gunther down!
Kofi wriggles out of the grapple of Sheamus before Sheamus and Gunther get back at it. Number 5 in it's Johnny Gargano.
Miz fails to eliminate Johnny Wrestling, who then hits a DDT in turn and ghen gets Miz on the ropes, before Sheamous takes over for ten beats of the Bodhrán and a few more for luck.
THE MIZ IS ELIMINATED by a Brogue Kick from Sheamus after Johnny G helps out.
Joining us now is Xavier Woods, who joins forces with his New Day pal Kofi Kingston in fouble-teaming everyone they can get their hands on.
Kofi and Xavier look like they're going to go at it against each other, but it instead go into some mutual bumslapping.
In at number seven... the lights go black and white, and Karion Kross is introduced by Scarlett.
Back in living colour, Kross is in with a head of steam and no little energy. Sheamus taking five in the corner while Kross eats a clothesline from Gunther, who responds. Sheamus stirs and goes at it with Kriss.
It's Chad Gable! Shoooooosh! Woods and Gable get grappling. Things are getting hectic as Drew McIntyre joins proceedings.
Suplexes flying all over the place from McIntyre, before a little reference to the-banned Banger Bros nickname now. All of a sudden KARION KROSS IS ELIMINATED by Drew McIntyre!
Next in Santos Escobar. It's still incredibly hectic in there with only two eliminations so far. Escobar goes up to the top but gets away with it for now at least.
McAfee mentions the Banger Bros. Tut tut. Next in: Angelo Dawkins. Pandemonium in here as Woods just avoids elimination by keeping his feet off the floor. Woods later saves Kofi by XAVIER WOODS IS ELIMINATED by Gunther.
Kofi tries to get revenge but fails. KOFI IS ELIMINATED. MAYBE. BY GUNTHER. We'll have o check the replay... he's got one leg up in the air over a chair, but he may well have connected with teh floor before that happened.
Brock Lesnar enters the Rumble with a grin. McIntyre and Sheamus go at him. No dice.
SANTOS ESCOBAR, CHAD GABLE and then ANGELO DAWKINS ARE ELIMINATED by Brock Lesnar.
Brock Lesnar and Gunther go toe-to-toe. Then Bobby Lashley enters. Narrative spilling out everywhere where as Lashley spears Lesnar.
Lenar gets Lashley up but Bobby wriggles out and BROCK LESNAR IS ELIMINATED by Bobby Lashley! Less than three minutes in there for The Beast, who angrily flings half an announce table in there, but it's too late!
Next in: Baron Corbin. trailed by JBL. Meanwhile a miffed Lesnar flings the steel steps at the announce tbale and takes out his frustration on Baron Corbin, F-5ing him on the outside, before Corbin even technically gets in.
Lesnar throttles a WWE official and stomps about. Livid. Next in: Seth 'Freakin'' Rollins
Rollins kindly flings Corbin into the ring and then BARON CORBIN IS ELIMINATED by Seth Rollins, of course, before he and Sheamus go at it. Next in: Alpha Academy's Otis.
Otis slams Drew McIntyre and Sheamus in quick succession. Things calming down a bit after that Lesnar tantrum. Rey Mysterio joins the Royal Rumble... well, his music hits, but we can't see him.
Lashley gets Seth up, but Rollins wriggles out and BOBBY LASHLEY IS ELIMINATED!
In at number 18: Dominik Mysterio Wearing his dad's mask and an I'm your Mami shirt. HE rips up his dad's mask.
OTIS IS ELIMINATED by Sheamus while all that is going on. Dominik sneaks in and tries to punch Sheamus to little effect. In at 19: It's Elias and his guitar.
He gets in and sprays rounds a few kicks and chops before smashing his guitar over Gunther. There are bits of wood all over the canvas. Claymore and Brogue on Elias and ELIAS IS ELIMINATED by the Banger Bros.
In at 12 it's Finn Balor. Slingblade on Drew, but Sheamus breaks that up. Gargano nearly gets Finn out, but Dominik saves the day and nearly eliminates Johnny Wrestling. JOHNNY GARGANO IS ELIMINATED by the two Judgment Day fellas.
And he teased it! Booker T enters the Royal Rumble. He's looking GREAT in his trunks isn't he? He goes after Finn and Dominik. Bookend on Balor! Spinarooni time!
Gets a cheer but that was an error. BOOKER T IS ELIMINATED by Gunther.
Damien Priest is in next and the Judgment Day men are all present and correct. Montez Ford in at 23 and almost eliminated Dominik Mysterio before Damien Priest makes the save and Finn Balor nearly elinates him. Ford saves himself by holding on to the ropes, legs dangling.
But then MONTEZ FORD IS ELIMINATED by Damien Priest. In at 24: It's Edge. His former Judgment Day pals look concerned.
SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR. Each one of the Judgement Day is taken down in turn DAMIEN PRIEST IS ELIMINATED. FINN BALOR IS ELIMINATED.
Edge and Seth Rollins glare each other out. Plenty of history there. Dominik Mysterio breaks it up and ends up on the top before EDGE IS ELIMINATED by Finn Balor from the outside and eats a beatdown from Finn and Damien Priest.
Next in Austin Theory, but he can't make it to the ring before the Edge vs Judgement Day battle spills out everywhere. Then Rhea Ripley pops up and takes down the R-Rated Superstar, before Beth Phoenix appears and SPEAR on Rhea Ripley on the ramp.
Pearce and co make a belated appearance.
In at 26: Omos, guided by MVP. Watch out, everyone. Omos double clotheslineon the Banger Bros, who is doing some damage in there without eliminating anyone yet.
Gunther dishes out a couple of chops, but eats a chokeslam for his troubles. Next in: Braun Strowman. So much beef in that ring right now.
Strowman and Omos exchange some opinions as everyone else sits around battered. Fisticuffs! OMOS IS ELIMINATED by Braun off the ropes.
Things calm down a moment but 3, 2, 1 it's Ricochet who can give his tag team buddy Braun Strowman a hand, if he needs it.
They join forces on Theory before The Banger Bros double team Strowman and have him dangling! He's back up on the apron but only to eat some double banger beats before Gunther breaks it up.
Rollins has Theory on the outside by he squirms back in. Drew saves SHeamus from Gunther but it was for nowt. SHEAMUS and then DREW MCINTYRE ARE ELIMINATED by Gunther.
In now: Logan Paul to a chorus of boos! Everyone joins forces to beat the hell out of Logan Paul, who survives that and an additional attacks from Ricochet and Gunther.
Logan Paul and Braun Strowman at it now. Paul using his boxing blows on him, but Strowman hits him with running Monster Slam, before Riochet hits a Standing Shooting Star.
In at number 30, it's no surprise as he'd already declared, it's the American Nightmare Cody Rhodes. No gnarly bruise today, a small operation scar in it's place.
Cody Cutter on Austin Theory. He's in and full of energy, but Dominik Mysterio wants a peice of him. Not happening and DOMINIK MYSTERIO IS ELIMINATED by Rhodes.
Braun taken down Cody, but Gunther hits a Last Symphony on the Monster, before taking some damage from Ricochet.
Logan Paul and Ricochet FLY from opposing top ropes and SLAP together and both men are down.
BRAUN STROWMAN IS ELIMINATED by Cody Rhodes despite Ricochet's attempts to stop it and then RICOCHET IS ELIMINATED by Austin Theory
Final Four (or is it)! Cody Rhodes, Austin Theory, Gunther and Seth Rollins
AUSTIN THEORY IS ELIMINATED by Cody Rhodes after Seth Rollins's attention. Now Cody and Seth go face-to-face but Gunther puts an end to that moment.
Cody and Seth double-team Gunther, who eats a Pedigree from Rollins. Rhodes hits his own Pedigree on the IC Champ! Gunther has just beaten the Rumble Iron Man record, despite that, we're told.
Logan Paul returns (*checks notes* he was never eliminated) and SETH ROLLINS IS ELIMINATED.
LOGAN PAUL IS ELIMINATED by Cody Rhodes after a couple of CrossRhodes.
Final Two: Number 1 Gunther and Number 30 Cody Rhodes. Chops exchanged, with Gunther focusing on that only recently-repaired pec.
A failed kick from Gunther and he ends up on the top rope and on the apron on the wrong side! Cody looks to capitalise but no! Gunther escapes and hits back with heavy blows to the chest.
HE gets Cody on the top, then on the apron, Cody saves himself, but he looks like he's in trouble, He powers out and powers up though and goes to the top... is that wise?!
Gunther up on the top, Superplex on Rhodes and they're both back inside! Cody gees himself up. Cody cutter off the rope. He gets Gunther over the top but the IC Champ pulls himself back up.
Cody gets him by the leg, once, twice, catches him in the corner. SHATTERED DREAMS. Gunther doesn't look in good shape after that but the adrenaline pulls him through. Powerbomb on Cody.
Over the top and Cody is again only inches from elimination, saving himself by hangin on to the rope! Chops on the top! Sleeper on Cody! Gunther has him! No! Cody uses the ropes to pull Gunther down and get himself some brief breathing space.
Back in the middle Cody gets one last burst and GUNTHER IS ELIMINATED.
WINNER: CODY RHODES
SNAP REVIEW: Well that was exhausting! A bold choice to open the event with the Men's Royal Rumble match, and we think perhaps the right one, given who ended up in it, and who ended up winning it. There weren't any major surprises (no Sami Zayn, let alone The Rock), but there can't always. A real shame we didn't get a Kofi moment for the sizzle reel (second time in a row it hasn't happened), but that Logan Paul/Ricochet collision made up for it.
There was plenty of pandemonium, and while a lot of that felt like pure CHAOS without the same long-running threads of some of the classic Rumbles, there was also plenty of narrative spilling out everywhere. Dom/Rey. Edge vs The Judgment Day. Seth/Cody. Bobby/Brock. Etc. etc. In the end, the right winner and with the damage he took from Gunther to that pec, it still felt earned despite the number 30 spot. B
Match 2: LA Knight vs Bray Wyatt [Pitch Black Match]
So, it looks like the lights are off, the ropes are neon green, LA Knight is wearing glow in the dark trunks and kneebands, while Bray Wyatt has some glow-in-the-dark facepaint.
Wyatt does well in the early going, flinging Knight around the place, but on the outside, Knight thows Wyatt into the ringpost. Wyatt recovers in the time it takes Knight to set up some steel steps.
Wyatt clears an announce table, gets Knight up on to the steps by LA Knight avoids the suplex attempt, and manages to slam Bray through the announce table, and there's neon sprinkles everywhere
Bray Wyatt gets out a toolbox but LA Knight fights out before he can use it. LA Knight rains down a couple of blows on Wyatt with a neon kendo stick, but Bray hits Sister Abigail and that's that.
WINNER: BRAY WYATT
Spooky Bray stalks LA Knight after his win. Knight defends himself with the Kendo stick but Wyatt shrugs that off and keeps after him like a predator stalking his prey. Wyatt locks in a Mandible Claw and puts Knight down.
Bray looks up and there's Uncle Howdy, who flings himself from up on high and lands on Knight from a distance, launching some flames in the process, as Wyatt's farmyard crew behind look on in appreciation.
SNAP REVIEW: When it comes to Bray Wyatt's whole shtick, your mileage may vary. We're generally big fans here, but I'm not sure that worked at all. The Pitch Black/Neon thing was more of a distraction than a pleasure, the match didn't have much to it, and the post-match shenanigans were fun but predictably inconclusive. Not offensively bad, but not the Bray re-debut match we wanted really C-
Match 3: WWE Raw Women's Championship: Bianca Belair (c) vs Alexa Bliss
That's more like it, speedy start to this one, flying into each other. A fair exchange of blows before Bliss surprisingly gets the edge.
Bliss kicks Bianca off the rope and grabs her by the hair, kneeing her right in the head. Modified bow and arrow stretch, again using Belair's incredible ponytail for leverage.
Then a sleeperhold, and sneaky eye rake from Alexa who's still in control here, chopping her opponent down with a few kicks and enjoying a second cover before applying another sleeper.
Bianca finally gets a bit of respite, reversing the hold into a suplex. Now the tables have turned and Belair is raining down blows on the challenger.
Bliss dodges a slide into the corner but Belair recoves and continues to inflict some damage, before Bliss uses her knees for protection the first time Bianca bounces off those ropes for a moonsault, but fails to get them up for the second attempt that hits full-on.
Bianca goes for the KOD but Bliss wriggles out, and soon after hits a DDT for two and a bit. Gets another two count soon after. Prety even this,.
Belair counters a Sister Abigail attempt into a KOD, and all of a sudden, that is that.
WINNER and STILL WWE Raw Women's Champion: Bianca Belair
Oooh, the screens have some of that playground motif and Bliss through the ages as a disconsolate Bliss looks up. "Do you feel in charge?" asks the voice. More intrigue, but again, no revolution.
SNAP REVIEW: That was short, and pretty sweet. Alexa Bliss gave a pretty good account of herself, bending the rules a few times without really breaking them and taking the champ to the edge a few times.
The finish sort of came from nowhere there, but that's the risk of going in a ring against someone as brutally strong and effortlessly skilled as Bianca Belair. We thought that Bray/Uncle Howdy/Something Spooky might come to the aid of Alexa Bliss, but all we got was a spooky video for afters. A good palate cleanser. B-
Match 4: Women's Royal Rumble Match
Favourite Rhea Ripley is first in at number one, nursing her ribs after taking that Spear from Beth Phoenix during the Men's Rumble match. Joining her is Liv Morgan.
The two women lock up, and despite her injury, Rhea is in control early on, throwing Liv around the place before glancing up at that WrestleMania sign. Liv gets back to her feet but eats a vertical suplex for her troubles.
Dana Brooke at number three. She dropkicks Rhea and Liv, and also reverses Rhea into the turnbuckle. Barbie Dana gets Liv up on the top in the corner and then joins her, and delivers a superplex.
In is DSWWE favourite Emma for her first Royal Rumble. Eimma gets in and takes down Rhea Ripley. Emma and Dana team up on Rhea who escapes. Still no eliminations.
In at number five is Shayna Baszler. Ooof, a kick and slam on Emma. Liv stops Shayna eliminating her though, which she quickly regrets as Baszler diverts her attentions.
Next in is Bayley. She shimmies on down with a big grin on her face and immediately gets hit with an Oblivion by Morgan, only just saving herself before having some measure of vengeance in the corner.
The ring is filling up now and B-Fab is there, flanked by her Hit Row pals. She has that just-in-the-rumble burst and downs a few women, including Dana and Bayley, befor Rhea Ripley puts an end to all that, B-FAB IS ELIMINATED.
NXT Womens' Champion Roxanne Perez enters the Rumble! Takes down Rhea Ripley AND Bayley.
Four women trying to eliminate Bayley, but she again survives, and now has backup with Dakota Kai in next. She lends a hand but then it's four on two against the Damage CTRL women.
Bayley literally hanging on in the corner and now the team is complete with Iyo Sky joining proceedings, hitting a double dropkick on Rhea Ripley and Dana Brooke to get things started.
DANA BROOKE IS ELIMINATED by Damage CTRL. EMMA IS ELIMINATED by Iyo Sky. Roxanne Perez tries to take advantage of the celebrations but fails, and ROXANNE PEREZ IS ELIMINATED by Damage CTR.
Natalya in next and she wants Shauna Baszler. Shayna stands back and then makes the first move and tangles Nattie in the ropes. In at 12: Candice LeRae.
Bayley goes right for Candice, after Iyo Sky and Dakora Kai have a turn, and inadvertantly hits both her Damage CTRL pals on to the outside ,Hey hang on by the rope, but only just.
Now it's back to Shanya vs Nattie. Exchangin blows. Then Nattie gets Shayna over, she bounces back with one leg on the outside!
Both women on the outside and Damage CTRL spots an opportunity. 3 vs 2, they push both women off and out the Rumble, NATALYA AND SHAYNA BASZLER ARE ELIMINATED.
Zoey Stark enters and sprays around some blows. Next comes Xia Li. An official prevents her from taking a weapon into the ring. Early on it doesn't look like she needs it. She is kicking the hell out of everyone.
Damage CTRL make use of the numbers game once more though. Candice LeRae is eliminated by Damage CTRL after foolishly putting herself up high.
Next up is Becky Lynch! attacked by Damage CTRL on the outside, but she shrugs off IO and Dakota and take down Bayley in the middle.
Becky thrown through the middle rope, and takes Bayley out with her under the bottom rope. Bayley into the ring, but then Damage CTRL join in and fling Becky into the barricade and then announce table.
Tegan Nox in. Another post-entry flurry. Lots of great strikes but no eliminations. Tegan and Liv team up on Zoey Stark. In at 17 is a returning Asuka with an amazing mask, and then some amazing facepaint underneath it.
Shee goes for Dmage CTRL, then Zoey Stark. Suplex from Asuka! Bayley vs Asuka in the middle. Plenty of history there of course. Asuka gets Bayley over the top, but not out. Tegan Nox has some brief luck against Asuka, but then gets on the wrong side of things. TEGAN NOX IS ELIMINATED.
In next is Piper Niven. with her old name back! A few Doudrop puns from the announce team, but it feels like the good old Piper Niven is back, with her tartan getup representing her homeland.
In at 19 is Tamina. She goes toe-to-toe with Piper. Damage CTRL get involved, briefly, but are shrugged off. Piper eats a superkick form Tamina, but then she's taken down by Damage CTRL, before Becky Lynch springs back up.
Becky takes both Iyo and Dakota in the middle of the ring. Next in, a heavily teased surprise: a returning Chelsea Green.
Rhea Ripley tosses her straight out! CHELSEA GREEN IS ELIMINATED in record five seconds. Then DAKOTA KAI IS ELIIMINATED by Becky Lynch. IYO SKY IS ELIMINATED by Becky Lynch
In revenge, BECKY LYNCH IS ELIMINATED by Bayley All of a sudden BAYLEY IS ELIMINATED by Liv MOrgan. Pandemonium! And it all kicks off outside the ring.
A bit quieter in the ring now Zelina Vega joins, along with a really OTT Street Fighter 6 bit of product placement.
Zelina hits Rhea Ripley hard in the middle, before posing on the outside . The announce team sound drunk, making references to Street Fighter 2 characters of old. Meanwhile ater going head-to-head on the apron. XIA LI IS ELIMINATED By Zelina Vega.
Next in is local girl Raquel Rodriguez. Zoey Stark caught in mid air and eats a suplex. Rodriguez using her incredible strength on everyone she can grab in there. next in: Mia Yim "Michin".
Rhea Ripley is suffering a lot of damage at the moment, and she shuffles out the ring for a bit to catch a breather. She leaps back in as Lacey Evans enters at 24.
Tamina gets Lacey over the top but she survives that and takes down Zoey Stark with a sweeping kick under the bottom rope before getting back in. Next in it's Michelle McCool, who gets up from the front row where she's sat with the kids!
She strips off her top and in she goes! Uppercut to Piper Niven, Facebreaker! TAMINA IS ELIMINATED by Michelle McCool, who then does some more damage to Rhea Ripley.
In next is Indi Hartwell from NXT. She takes down Lacey Evans and points to the WresleMania sign. A few duels going on in there as Sonya Deville enters.
ZOEY STARK IS ELIMINATED by Sonya Deville pretty swiftly. before going at it with Asuka, they take each other down with simultaneous kicks.
ZELINA VEGA IS ELIMINATED with the Cobra Clutch by Lacey Evans just before Shotzi makes her way to the ring in the Taking Care of Business Tank.
Shotzi flies in off the top and things are very busy once again. Shotzi and Lacey Evans go at it. Shotzi nearly eliminated by Sonya Deville. INDI HARTWELL ELIMINATED by Sonya Deville.
And now it's Nikki Cross. RUNNING to the ring. She's in and taking down Shotzi, before rattling round the ring and beating up everyone. No eliminations just yet, though, and now she's battling with Lacey Evans in the corner.
And look who's back at number 30: Nia Jax.Slightly borked countdown but she won't mind. Everyone looks shocked, but Nikki Cross is looking like she's relishing this.
Nia makes the mistake to stand in the middle of all the remaining women and daring them to go at it. They oblige but she fights them all off. She goes toe-to-toe with Raquel Rodriguez.
They exchange words, and then go at it, Rodriguez tries and fails to power slam NIa. Liv tries and fails next. "I'm back, bitch," Nia yells.
Liv and Asuka fail to take down Nia.. Rhea also fails to body slam Nia, but then hits a Riptide. She calls on the remaining wrestlers to gather round and they join forces to lift Jax NIA JAX IS ELIMINATED.
Moichlle McCool trying to get Nikki Cross out, but she wriggles back in. Raquel vs Lacey at the ropes and LACEY EVANS IS ELIMINATED by Rodriguez.
Then it's Raquel vs Asuka in the middle. A great technical battle going there. Asuka locks in the armbar butRaquel gets her over. Asuka survives and Sonya Seville gets involved.
After a few exchanges Asuka kicks Deville off the apron and SONYA DEVILLE IS ELIMINATED.
Meanwhile MICHELLE MCCOOL IS ELIMINATED by Rhea Ripley . Michin eliminates Shotzi, but then "MICHIN" MIYA YIM iS ELIMINATED by Piper Niven,
Piper Nive Cannonball on Raquel Rodriguez. Piper Niven goes for it, but Rodriguez gets her over and out, PIPER NIVEN IS ELIMINATED.
Rhea Ripley and Raquel Rodriguez going at it and over the ropes. Rhea manages to hold on and RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ IS ELIMINATED.
Rhea goes after Nikki Cross and Asuka before thinking better of it. Now it's Nikki and Asuka, Nikki about to eliminate Asuka but no! Liv Morgan gets involved and NIKKI CROSS IS ELIMINATED.
We're down to Rhea Ripley, Liv Morgan and Asuka as our final three.
This is like a frantic Fatal Three-Way Match right now and Liv and Rhea both on the apron, both having gone over the top. Asuka hip attack. Now she's on the apron too, having also gone over the top.
Asuka goes for the green mist on Rhea but Ripley ducks! Liv is blinded, but Rhea swings round and kicks Asuka off and ASUKA IS ELIMINATED.
Rhea smirks, she's only got a blinded Liv Morgan to go. Somehow Morgan survives and knocks Ripley back. Ripley staggers! She slips! She's hanging on by her fingertips to the ropes, with her legs dangling! She's millimetres from losing.
SOMEHOW Rhea Ripley swings her body up, grabs Liv Morgan by the neck and flings her off. LIV MORGAN IS ELIMINATED.
WINNER: Rhea Ripley
SNAP REVIEW: That was really good fun, and had the edge over the men's match in terms of non-stop action and excitement. The only thing the Men's match had more of was that sprinkling of narrative that makes a Rumble feel more meaningful, but there were still a number of intriguing duels and great moments.
Michelle McCool was a great entrant, and it's striking how the first Women's Rumble a few years back was so reliant on a stream of Legends and "never gonna win" guests, while everyone earned their spot here. It's a shame Nia Jax's entrance was messed up with the countdown, but her appearance made up for that and did what it needed to.
As with the Men's match, the winner was the obvious favourite, but it felt like there was a bit more jeopardy, which is a testament to the work the women did in the last quarter of an hour of the match, and especially for a for a few moments when it was down to Rhea/Asuka/Liv at the end. B+
Undisputed WWE Universal Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs Sami Zayn
KO comes to the ring first. Roman Reigns follows, flanked by Paul Heyman and Sami Zayn, but The Usos and Solo Sikoa are conspicuous by their absence.
Both men stalk the ring, as the crowd chant Sami Uso. The guys in the ring lock up and Roman sholder blocks KO down to the mat before yelping something at Sami.
Roman getting the early hits, but not doing all that much to Kevin. This is very slow to start us off. Roman grins at KO. They lock up once more and now it's time for for Owens to get some joy.
Shoulder, senton, stomps and cannonball. Reigns slips out the ring for a breath. KO follows him and gets in a few good strikes. Roman returns in kind and with a headbutt for good measure.
Reigns flung into the barricade and then hit with a senton on the outside. Owens still in control on the inside now, but Reigns powers through and throws Kevin into the buckle, then into the middle for a two count.
Roman gets Owens on the bottom rope and slinks out for a drive by he hits flush. Sami Zayn watching this all as it happens. Reigns now wearing Owens down in the middle before hitting him with one hell of an uppercut.
He's hitting him with forearm after forearm, but as he bounces off the rope, Owens counters. Then Reigns hits back with a big boot. Owens with a clothesline and some big forearms, before bouncing him out the ring, and hitting him with a frog splash off the apron on to the outside.
KO drags Reigns back inside and hits another splash, this time off the top. It's good for two and a bit. Reigns blocks a superkick and counters into a powerbomb for two.
Reigns goes for a Superman Punch, Owens dodges it and hits a suplex. Reigns hits a Superman Punch at the second time of asking and gets two and then some. Roman goes for a big Spear, but Kevin Owens dodges it and he goes flying into the turbuckle.
Swanton off the top! One, two th--no! Roman Reigns kicks out. KO back to the well but eats a few punches from Reigns, and he's now prone on the top rope in the corner. Reigns looking for a Superplex, but KO hitting elbows and heatbutts.
Owens goes for it off the second rope, but Reigns gets the rope. Hits a Swanton but misses with the Moonsault. Spear from Reigns, two and a half!
Owens goes for the stunner but Reigns wriggles out and pushes KO into the ref. Owens hits a Popup Powerbomb! 1, 2, 3, 4... the ref is knocked out and isn't counting! Owens looks distraught.
Reigns hits a low blow on Owens, and then order s Sami Zayn to get a chair. After some prevacirating. Paul Heyman lets him know there's one under the ring. Sami Zayn hesitates and hesitates before passing it over.
By that time KO has recovered and hits a Stunner! The ref is back in! 1, 2, KICK OUT. Heyman GLARES at Zayn.
Reigns now recovers and hits a Superman Punch and then Spear on Owens. 1, 2, Th--another last moment kickout! Zayn PLEADS with Owens to stay down on the outside. Reigns swings round and spears KO through the barricade!.
Reigns gets back inside. Then goes out to fling Owens into the steel steps, the back of his head making a sicking crunch. And then he does it again! Owens looks out for the count. Sami Zayn looks distraught.
Roman grabs Owens and puts him back inside. Paul Heyman fawns over Reigns. SZ salutes him. KO powers up once more but RR hits him with a Spear and this time that's that.
WINNER and STILL UNDISPUTED WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION: Roman Reigns
The Usos and Solo Sikoa join the celebration. Roman Reigns stops Jey Uso from putting a garland on Sami Zayn, and instead sics the Usos on the unconscious body of KO, watching with a horrible grin with his arm round Sami.
The Usos get Kevin Owens face tangled in a chair and then Sikoa slams him into the corner. Payl Heyman passes Reigns two pairs of handcuffs, and he gives them to an Uso each. Sami Zayn doesn't look happy about this, but he's not doing anything to stop this, KO is handcuffed to the ropes and eats TWELVE Uso Superkicks.
Reigns castigates Owens for trying to get into Zayn's head, and gets ready to hit KO with a chair. Sami Zayn stops him! He tells Reigns that he doesn't need to do this. That he's the Undisputed Universal Champion and he's better than this. That Kevin Owens is done.
Reigns instead passes over the chair to Sami Zayn. "You should do it." "I don't want that."
We an hear Paul Heyman urging in the background: "Shmooley, this is your moment!".
Zayn takes the chair. Reigns reminds Zayn of all the betrayals from Kevin Owens in the past and is goading and goading him into hitting him. It looks like Sami is tempted to hit Riegns for a moment. Reigns turns round and yells: "PULL THE TRIGGER!"
Sami again demures and Reigns manhandles him. Sami holds the chair and it happens! Sam iZayn hits Roman Reigns square in the back! He then drops the chair and throws himself to the mercy of the Usos, He eats a Superkick for his troubles and Jimmy Uso rains down blows on him before S0lo Sikoa gets involved.
Reigns is back up and is orchestrating this beatdown, but Jey now looks conflicted in the corner looking on. He rolls out of the ring with tears in his eyes and walks off down the ramp with his head in his hands.
Now Roman Reigns is battering Sami with the steel chair himself, then his fists himself. "F**k you Roman" chants all over the Stadium.
Jimmy Uso gives Owens another superkick for the road, as Reigns rips up a garland and sprinkles the petals all over the destroyed Sami Zayn, who has his Honorary Uso shirt ripped off, and taken back down the ramp by Jimmy Uso.
SNAP REVIEW: An incredibly solid battle there in the actual match, with Kevin Owens looking like he could really do it, too, before that ref bump made it seem inevitable that it just wouldn't happen.
Sami Zayn's hesitation when giving his Tribal Chief a steel chair made what happened next inevitable. By refusing to join in the beatdown of KO he wrote himself out of The Bloodline. By striking Roman Reigns he signed his own death warrant. It was hardly groundbreaking stuff, but dealt with brilliantly,
Kevin Owens deserves another go at Reigns, but I'm not sure he'll get it. Instead, he'll likely join forces with Sami Zayn once more and they'll look to WrestleMania as an opportunity to dethrone The Usos and end The Bloodline's dominance from that angle. But where does Jey Uso fit into that, given his own refusal to continue the beatdown on Zayn? . We're already looking forward to it. B
OVERALL REVIEW: There certainly weren't any bouts that'll be up for Match of the Year in 12 months, but both Rumbles were solid, as were the two title matches. The Pitch Black Match was forgettable, and probably would have been better as a straight match-up without the black light stuff, whether or not they had the afters with Uncle Howdy.
There may be some disappointment that the clear favourites both won the Rumble matches and there weren't any REAL shock entrants, but at the same time we're left with everything very nicely poised going into the Road to WrestleMania, even if the path was a bit obvious. Given what's happened in some years, we'll gladly take that. B
What did you think of WWE Royal Rumble 2023? Let us know at @digitalspywwe.
Catch up on Raw, Smackdown, NXT and all the big WWE action via the WWE Network or BT Sport.
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